Soulful Sunday: Let’s talk about God.

Recently I have taken on the task of building a brand. In building a brand and starting a business inevitably you dive down the rabbit hole of spirituality. This is something I’ve wrestled with my entire life. I’ve been atheist, Buddhist, I’ve been some of everything…twice. This stems from me running from God. My Nana that raised me is Pastor. I was born on a Sunday (GOOGLE IT 1/13/1985…is a Sunday) I was at church as soon I was born, until I became an adult and rebelled from the church. I didn’t keep my children from church because church represents a lot for me, it’s not just a place it was the representation of my nana. So me lashing out at church was lashing out a fractured relationship I had with my nana.

(Learned that in this book I read)There’s a chapter in the book “You are a bad ass” by Jen Sincero where she talks about you have to have a relationship with God (or the universe whatever you call your spiritual being) I balked at that chapter because I knew I didn’t have a good relationship with God. This year I really began to focus on building my spiritual relationship. What I have found in working on my spiritual relationship..all of my relationships have improved. I kid you not. My nana and I are best friends. I never thought I’d see the day and it’s something I’ve prayed for and longed for and I honestly believe our relationship improved because my spiritual relationship with God improved. I saw things I prayed for just happenings all around me and I could longer deny the existence of something. I was nervous to even post this because I’m going to be honest I know more Batman villains than I do apostles but I’m willing to change that 😅 that doesn’t mean I’m going to live my life exactly as the Bible says.

I’m simply acknowledging God is real. Prayers do get answer..that doesn’t mean just pray and sit there. No you have to pray and put in the work for your dreams to come true but when you pray..HAVE FAITH.. I mean real faith.. faith like you don’t know how your rent is going to be paid but you keep working toward your goals, some how the opportunity comes for you to write an article and the rent gets paid. You have to acknowledge God in those instances. I’ve prayed for a family as long as I could remember. Losing your parents at a young age is psychologically and emotionally damaging. I saw friends with moms and dads, I had wonderful grandparents but I wanted a mom and dad. I resolved in my mind I would never have that but I would be the best mom in the world and have the best family.. alas single motherhood and divorce tainted my vision. I kept praying though and the same prayer. “God send me a man that loves me. All of me and doesn’t change me, send me a man that loves my child as his own, takes care of us, leads us and knows you” I prayed that after my divorce and I picked up my life with me and my daughter, I’ve battled addiction, raped, physical abuse to the point I was hospitalized. I should have been dead so many times, I have no reason to be here but this weekend I took these photos

God has blessed me with a life so rich in love sometimes I just cry. It’s only been a few weeks on my journey with faith in business. Starting a business you have to faith! To have a dream you have to have faith. I’ve always had faith but I never put that faith into action in my career. I prayed day and night for that goal of 1k followers

I was in church every Sunday, I was reading books, cracking algorithms, and thanking God every step of the way. For the downfalls, there was days I wanted to give up but I couldn’t! I had to little girls that had been watching me watch webinars, and take photos of my food like a psycho, and edit those photos just right. I couldn’t give up on my dream of writing…I had done for too long and these gifts God gave me were watching. The proof they were watching was in my youngest. Every morning and all through the day she sees me and her father join hands and pray. One day I was rushing and kissed Chris goodbye and leaned into her car seat to kiss her and she say “pray” and clasped her hands together..we had prayed so much in front of her it was part of her routine. So even when I’m annoyed and saying “God..we LATE PROTECT US..IM SICK OF THEM MAKING ME LATE IN GOD!” That counts! (Too me at least!)

I’ve just been so blessed this month in my business and in my personal life and that’s solely based on the fact I improved my personal relationship with God, and improved my prayer life. I pray a lot. In the car, to myself, I pray for my friends online when there faces cross my mind. I pray for people when I’m being petty I just pray now, and with my praying I have faith. I’ve always been a very strong and convicted woman. When I believe something I stand for it tremendously. My faith is strong now because I thing happen with hard work, prayer and faith. I may lose friends over this post. That’s fine. I’ve lost plenty of friends over the course of 33 yeas of life. I’m looking forward to the new friends I gain with this because I’m not longer ashamed to talk about my faith. Now this won’t be every single post. This is just me acknowledging this moment in my life, I see what prayer, faith and hard work have done in my life and I’m grateful.

Have a wonderful Sunday.

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