31 days of self love:Day 4

The compliment I struggle with the most is “You’re so pretty” or “you’re beautiful” I just don’t believe it. I’ve struggled with self esteem for so long that I honestly focus on other attributes of myself. I’ve never thought I was pretty because I’m not the standard of beauty. So when people give me that compliment, I really don’t know how to accept it, I look all around, I struggle to make eye contact, I make a joke, I deflect..I thank them and keep it pushing. I just don’t look at myself and see “pretty” or “beautiful” I’m an average looking person. I’m not downing myself I just don’t focus a lot on looks. Looks are subjective. As dark skin woman I struggled at with self acceptance and beauty (don’t get me wrong I think I’m beautiful in other ways..ways deeper than looks) I think looks and appearance are important. It’s necessary to look in mirror and like what YOU see. There’s days when I do. I look in the mirror and say “Ok booooo I see you in there slaying it down!” And There’s day I can look in the mirror cans count every blemish and decided “yeah no one needs to subjected to this madness…I’m staying inside!” I think this is a common thread among women. Feeling “unpretty” or having a hard time accepting this compliment. I really have no advice on this as I’m dealing with it myself. It’s a battle that I’m only now able to admit. I’ve modeled, I’ve gogo dances I’ve made money on my looks, but I’ve never felt beautiful. Only in the last three have I been able to look in the mirror and like me. I look in the mirror for happiness now. I know what my face looks like when it’s happy and I look for that. I’m working on myself confidence so that’s a huge reason why I don’t accept the commitment. I’m going to take the time to continue to learn myself, love myself and compliment myself. The mind is very powerful, if you struggle with accepting a compliment, you have to dig deep and find out why? If you struggle it’s because you can’t find that trait in yourself..but if someone sees it i. You enough to go out of their way to verbally express it to you..it’s there. Accept the compliment and accept yourself and the way others see you. I’ll be working on this as well.🤗

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