This is a tough oneš I JUST started saying “no”,setting boundaries and just putting more care into time and life. The way for me to better at setting boundaries is to really value myself and my time. A lot of my boundaries issues have to deal with me being so co-dependent my whole life. Me needing someone there all the time..I’d put up with anything for a person to stay in my life..be it a friend or an intimate lover. I used to just crave the presence another human being so much I’d lose all my boundaries to keep a person. That just opens you to be taken advantage of in so many situations. The key to this is I have to mean what I say, stand behind it and be strong. I have a tendency to waffle about boundaries when it’s someone I’ve known along time..but sometimes the people closest to you need Boundaries! I’m very eccentric. I march to the beat of my own drum and I love the music! People always have an opinion of my life, my style etc and I used to take that to heart and really let the words get me down..it didn’t matter what it was I put so much value on other opinions that my own quality of life suffered. The only way for me to set better boundaries is for me to actually mean what say and speak up for myself. I have to learn people actually respect you more when you have boundaries and speak up for the things you like and don’t like. It shows you have a backbone!
Wow this was deep one today.