I made this post on Facebook almost 2 years ago This was my first week back at work after maternity leave. I’m a working mom.
I’m a nurse and before I met my fiancé I was a single mom. I’ve always and job. When I found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter… I became a single mom🤷🏾♀️ I went through my pregnancy alone, on the couches of friends and family. I worked 3 jobs and saved to get me and daughter our first apartment together. I worked in the Temecula Valley School district during the day and put myself through nursing (LVN) school because I needed a career RIGHT NOW! My oldest daughter was 2 years old when she pinned me at my graduation ceremony and I’ve worked and kept a roof over our heads and provided everything my daughter has needed until my fiancé and I became a blended family. We both work. We don’t have the option for me to stay home, like many women I have working mom guilt. I feel terrible for being away from kids. Each moment I’m away I cry. I was really struggling last year. I had never really experienced having a partner while raising a child and I loved it! I loved my little family!
I hated leaving, my baby. It was always an ordeal she would cry, she had allergies. I didn’t have the same experience with Brooke because Brooke had a heart condition and I was off for about a year on medical family leave with the district. So I never experienced that raw, ripping of my child from me for 8 hours for a check. My brain was no ok with that. My emotions were so raw. I had a new patient so I couldn’t go into work crying so I would cry in the car for 15 minutes. Use eye drops, play some music to get perked up and then I would go to work. I took me a while to be “ok” and you know what I’m not 100% ok about leaving my babies but I know it’s necessary so here are 5 tips that have helped me combat “mom guilt”
1. Communicate your feelings with your childcare support team.
My childcare support team consist of Chris, Lori (or childcare provider) and my nana.. I had to be upfront with everyone and let them know “I struggle being away from the baby so can you send me some pictures through out the day, even if I don’t respond they motivate me.” It’s nice to check your phone and get cute pics! Community and communication is key. Those around you may not know how badly you are struggling with these feelings if you don’t communicate. So this step is a multifaceted tip, it helps you be honest about those feeling. Plus you get lurk on your baby 🤷🏾♀️ I’m lurky!😂🙌🏾
2. Talk about it openly! Talk about it on social media!
I am a real person and this guilt was a catalyst for this blog I have now! I’m working to create a life as a digital entrepreneur/ Content Creator/ Blogger because I want to be at home creating content with my kids. I love being a nurse and I’m grateful for what it has done for me and my family. I’m blessed. I just want to make a way that I can be home and experience time, laughter and moments with my kids. That why I work so hard for this. I’m open about this and working moms support me because I talked about this on my social media accounts, working mom guilt is real! It’s better to be upfront and talk to show moms “You’re not alone girl!” There’s not only strength in numbers but there is comfort!
It’s ok to cry… if you need to cry LET IT OUT! It’s unhealthy to hold on to emotional baggage, guilt will eat you alive. You have to remember… “You don’t work, they don’t eat” for me that’s my reality🤷🏾♀️ so when I have to cry.. I cry. I emote! I let it out. So I can move on. It’s important to address your emotions. Take care of them, ACKNOWLEDGE THEM! we as mom hide a lot of our emotions and push them to back.. not healthy my friend! Let it out.. so you can let love in!
4. Find a working mom support group on Facebook!
That helped me sooo much I just hit the search button and typed “working non group” I’m a huge group, community advocate. There truly is something healing about the right group of women supporting you. It’s so wonderful to have others you can relate to. I don’t like to feel like I’m “bugging” people do I figure I join groups I’m not “bugging” these women we in the SAME BOAT! It’s very beneficial.
5. Make your days off count!
Make that quality time high quality! Since I’m trying to work in social media on weekends I unplug in the morning and have certain time just for momma and cuddles! I find activities, I make breakfast I just really focus on making the time quality. We cook together, we start planning Thursday our weekend activities one in the house (bake a cake or try a Pinterest fail…. it always fails for me😂) I just try to make that time memorable.
I don’t think there’s one way to make the guilt go away. I honestly think there will always be a little sting when you walk away but these tips make the sting a little less. Try them out and let me know if they help you.
Take care thank you for reading! Feel free to comment below!