My G.I problems

This post isn’t easy to write but I’m just hoping there’s people going through what I do.. Through out my adult life I’ve had severe g.i issues. When I was a young adult (22-28) I struggled with anorexia and that reeked havoc on my g.i system. I abused laxatives, I had thickened gallbladder and just in and out the hospital. I really started focusing on my fitness and being healthy when I was about 29.. I’m 33 now and I had been doing fine but I had been having these bouts of pooping blood and vomiting blood, constipation and severe heartburn I call it a g.i attack because I would have all the Symptoms hit at once in the middle of the night… like right now. I don’t know when these will happen. They just happen. At one point I thought it was alcohol causing me to have these issues so I removed any hard liquor from my diet and soon discovered it wasn’t the alcohol I would have a g.i after taking a single Benadryl or eating ketchup. I try not to talk about it because I don’t want to complain but I’m scared and miserable. The dr’s don’t know if I have crohn’s or ibs. I noticed when I’m anxious or have anxiety about something it triggers my g.i system. I’m so frustrated because I just don’t know what’s happening to my body. I have insurance, with the V.A and I have an appointment in a few hours to meet my g.i specialist, i can’t take this anymore. I don’t take medicine that doesn’t come from the earth so it’s tough battling this pain. It feels like a dragon loves in the center of my stomach at all times. There’s certain days I can’t eat because it just burns. Then there’s days I’m fine, or days my nerves have me on the toilet all day. I hate my stomach. I hate not know what this is. I hate what it’s done to my life. I’m constantly in some state of pain, I’m losing weight.. I had gained weight I was 119 about 3 weeks about I’m finally at 125 but if something upsets me or anxiety kicks in I’ll lose that weight from stress and being unable to eat and keep food in. I haven’t told anyone but my close family what I’ve been dealing with. I had insurance and was a week out from getting my endoscopy and colonoscopy but I was on state insurance and they reviewed my income and I made to much. They kept the kids on but kicked me off because of my issues and the fact I made too much.. Thank God I’m a veteran I just called and restarted all my benefits but I have to start all over with care. So today’s appointment is meeting and starting a plan of care. I hate this pain so much. I’m not able to sleep and I have work after this dr appointment. It’s just not a good night. I’m laying here in pain watching Netflix hoping I doze off for 2 hours before this alarm go off.

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