It’s been 3 weeks since Madeline passed away. It’s been a 3 weeks of emotions I don’t really understand. There was one day someone posted they survived cancer and I was angry at that person. They got my friend’s happy ending and I was pissed!!

Then it hit me “You’re awful.. you’re mad at someone for living!” But then it really hit me.. it’s the grief.

I’ve missed seeing my friend’s names and her photos. I missed following her beautiful life. I missed rooting for her and Kristian.I get to see her beautiful family still. Many of them have added me social media and that makes me smile.

My family calls memorial services “home going” or “life celebration” because we are sending the person back to heaven where they came from and celebrating the time God gave them to us.

I was angry my friend didn’t get her happy ending but I’m grateful for every single minute of life she was on this earth.

I’m thankful that our paths crossed. I will never forget her and the lessons I learned from her life and from her death.

I learned that tomorrow is not promised to you. I learned every friend in your life has a purpose and is lesson. Tell your friends you love them, tell your friends hello. Tell your friends you’re praying for them. I’ve made more effort in reaching out to my friends just talking, saying hello, I pray for my friends that I don’t see every morning but if you don’t tell them they don’t know.

I will never forget Madeline as long as I live. I’ll always be connected to the angel I met on earth. People like Madeline are rare jewels. They aren’t to stay here. I think Madeline was here to teach everyone a lesson. You can make a huge impact on people’s life just by being you. The energy you radiate is contagious. I fell in love with the love Kristian and Madeline Shared. I’m a sucker for love and happiness and they had the most beautiful love of all.

People wait their whole life to find a love like Madeline and Kristian. People dream of making a baby like Fiona. Some people die never knowing what true love feels like. Some people die never being a mother. Some people die friendless. Some people die alone.

Madeline was LOVED, Madeline was a daughter, a sister, Madeline was a wife, Madeline was a mom, Madeline was a great friend. Madeline’s life was short but Madeline LIVED!

Some people are alive today but they aren’t living.

I’m going to remember the beautiful vibrant woman I saw marrying my friend. I’m grateful to have been her friend. I’m grateful for the time we spent. I’m grateful for each conversation. I’m grateful for the support. I’m grateful to have prayed and comforted her. I’m grateful that we met in real life.

When Madeline passed away, I was angry with God for allowing me to meet someone that he knew wasn’t going to stay. I prayed to have true and genuine friendships and I felt that I had truly found one and that was ripped from me. The future of what my mind had crafted was gone and I’m not used to not getting what I want. I just wanted a friend.

It’s taken weeks for me to realize everyone in your life is there to teach you something. Every person in you life isn’t meant to be permanent. The lessons they leave you are permanent. I thank God for my friend and the life lessons I’ve learned from her.

I’m not ready for this. I don’t do Memorials I like to remember people as they are.. but Madeline was special, she wasn’t just people. She was the friend God gave me. I thank God for my friend and her life and family.

Looking at the memorial photo has been hard but comforting.. They were ready for this. Not ready. No one is really ever ready to lose the love of their life but you can tell they knew this was happening and tried their best to prepare.

I remember my friend said the wig made her feel pretty and normal for a bit so I know she felt beautiful in the photo.

I don’t like Goodbye. I like to see you later. I’m not saying Goodbye to Madeline. I’m saying see you later. I know I’ll see my friend in the afterlife. I’m sad she’s gone but she’s not suffering here anymore. My friend made it to heaven! I’m going to celebrate!

See you later Madeline. You’re always in my heart.