It is with a heavy a heart I type this post.
I’m canceling the rapper YG.
I will no be streaming his music, nor will I allow my family to stream him due to his remarks about dark skin women.
That hurts because I love his music but I’m tired and I just can’t support him anymore.
I can’t allow his type of hate into my home.
His hate is self hate and it’s destructive and damaging.
If you let one small incident slide it becomes a bigger issues and I’m tried of black men continuing to force colorism into the black community.
We have to do something about it. All I can do is stop my support..
Here’s what went down..
Yg spoke at the funeral of slain rapper Nipsey Hussle.
On stage he made this statement:
“Look, bro, we got some light skin pretty girls we gotta raise, we in trouble my n-“
As soon as I heard the statement I was triggered!
Here we go again another black man spewing hateful and divisive colorism remarks!
I’ve written about my extreme experience with colorism. I was publicly humiliated by a black man. I was told “I don’t date burnt bitches”
By a man who was the same skin tone as me and YG.
It just brings a lot of questions into my mind ask as dark skin woman and as a fan.. I really did support this man!
I dance like YG! I loved his music! Ugh! I was cut deep by his words.
Thought number one was visceral.. I posted my anger on my Facebook.
My immediate thought was “so brown girls don’t deserve fathers? Are we not beautiful and deserving of the same love.”
I have a daughters that look like YG and Nipsey’s daughters
Do they only need to be loved and protected because they they are “Light skin?”
Colorism is an ugly scar on the face of the black community inflicted by slavery.
Dark skin slaves were placed outside to work in the hot sun.
While the light skin slaves were beaten and raped in the house.
Light skin slaves we made when dark skin slaves were raped.
That’s the history of light skin.
(glorifying light skin is essentially glorifying slave rape… I’ll just let that marinate for a while.
Those slaves were not in love with their masters!
They being raped and produced babies with light skin as a result)
I want people to understand that even though light skin slaves were inside.. they were still considered SLAVES and were prone to the same violence and humiliation that dark skin slaves endured… JUST INSIDE THE HOUSE. They were NOT special just considered and different color tool really.
They were still seen as slaves. As less than human. As property.
However dark skin slaves felt that their light skin meant less abuse.
They felt “House Slaves” had this pie in the sky life. They lived in the big house with “massa” no.. they were still in the same bondage.
They we still viewed as slaves.
That mentality of worshiping lighter skin.. is slave based.
That slave based mentality is ruining us.
We were once divided and sold because of the colors and tones of our skin.
Light skin slave children were sold too make no mistake about it.
When are we going to understand the pain colorism causes.
I’ve shared with my readers that I attend therapy monthly (My Therapist looks like Pete Davidson and Justin Long had a baby)
This month I revealed to my therapist I’m afraid to make YouTube videos or go live because I was teased for the sound of my voice and the fact I’m dark skin.
That kind of pain is hard to heal from.
I was rejected by a dark skin black man for having dark skin.
My therapist said “yeah that’s a mind fuck! But that’s his own issues with his skin tone”
I was humiliated and ashamed of my skin tone for many years.
The pain and shock for me stemmed from these facts:
“I can change my hair, my eye color, my clothing, I can lose weight but I will never be beautiful because of my dark skin.”
For many years I never felt pretty.
I never felt comfortable about the way I look because of my skin tone.
I felt like there was no use in even trying to be “pretty” because I was never going to achieve that standard. That one standard across the board.. blonde hair and blue eyed.
You see problem is this..an unreal and unachievable standard of beauty was applied to black people.
We were to told that this is beautiful:
White skin.. but the reality was black women looked like this.
It has been engrained into our minds collectively that dark skin is not beautiful.
I thought we lived in a time were we are so “evolved” and forward thinking.
Be we aren’t, it’s clear we aren’t when rappers like Kodak Black make these statements like:
“We too gutter. Black People, my complexion, we too gutter”
There is nothing wrong with having a preference, like who you want.. but don’t put down your own in the process.
Love is colorblind.flaunt that love and be proud.
Hate is ignorant, putting down a person because of their skin tone when you’re the same tone is self hate. Hate is just ignorance wrapped in anger.
My therapist knows all about my blogging aspirations.
He talks me through a lot of the stressors of blogging and social media
My job as a blogger requires me to “go live” and interact with audiences on social media.
I have a YouTube channel that gives me anxiety just thinking about it because I’m afraid men like Kodak black and YG will judge me in the comments and call me “ugly” I don’t care about the comments it’s just it takes me back to ugly place in my life.
I went through that before.
All of my life. There’s been Kodak’s and Yg’s telling me:
“You’d the perfect wife if you were Mexican or white”
“I never vibed with a dark skin chick the way I vibe with you”
Or the one that took the cake:
“I just don’t want my kids to come out as dark as you”
Statements like that made me HATE black men at young age and during my 20’s.. it was their words.
Those words shaped these beliefs about myself and my skin and black men period!
That’s ignorant I know but it was the only defense I had.
My skin was making my own men berate me, belittle me or think something different of my entirely.
I would “surprise” men when they would learn I speak French, I write poetry, I adore wine. I ride horses, I shot guns, I write songs, I paint, I do yoga, I brunch like a boss.
Immediately “That’s white girl shit” and I’m shunned.
I always had this weird defensive wall up toward black men.
I knew they already didn’t find me attractive or they were going to over sexualize me because I’m comfortable with my sexuality OR write me off all together because I’m a “nerd”
I always knew my “place” as a dark skin black woman.
I didn’t have one with black men.
Well that’s is the portrayal of the media anyway.
Rappers glorify light skin women
The sameKodak Black I spoke of before made disgusting remarks about Actress Lauren London I won’t repeat them but the words he said in regards to Lauren has every rapper from L.A to ATL ready to battle it out.
I understand it was due to the fact Nipsey had just passed away and he was so beloved by the community and this man was inserting himself unnecessarily into a situation but what shocked me was the intensity of the outrage.
They were boycotting his music, removing Kodak Black Artwork from museums! It was was bananas.
Where was this outrage when he talked about dark skin women? Or the multiple sexual assault Investigations?
Rappers are the gatekeepers of pop culture.
Like it or not these are the men who teaching the idle youth online how to date, how to dress, how to appreciate women.
YG is one of the most popular rappers in the game.
His mom looks like me. Dark skin. Big smile.
I wonder if theses young black rappers, with mothers who look like me.. feel the same way about their dark skin mothers?
Are dark skin mothers “gutter and hard”
“We’re raising these PRETTY light skin girls”
Are dark skin women not pretty?
Do we not deserve fathers too?
I talked to my daughter Brooklyn about this blog post yesterday and she made this statement.
” This won’t stop till the rappers stop. This “Team light skin” and “Team dark skin” trend is hot for hashtags. They make it look cool to have a light skin girlfriend. They make it seem okay to disrespect dark skin women when they don’t know.. white people see us all as black people… and racist white people see us all as “Team nigger” so we need to do better.”
She was right.
A lot of our youth don’t know the painful history behind #teamdarkskin and #teamlightskin it’s just a trendy hashtag to most, but it’s damaging our community.
It’s damaging our black women.
It’s pitting us against each other unnecessarily.
Its forming walls where walls should not be.
We have to come together and see that black skin is beautiful skin in all shades.
We have to be our own healing process.
There is no team light skin or team dark skin we need to come together and be #teamus.
Colorism does not only affect the black community
Colorism is not something that only happens with the black community.
Latin countries experience this.
Asian Countries.. in many cultures lighter skin is seen as more attractive.
The same standard of beauty has been placed globally and sadly it doesn’t fit.
It doesn’t fit for black people as a community and doesn’t fit globally. All over the world women with dark skin tones are made to feel inferior.
That has to stop. There is a pain that cuts do deep from being rejected due to something you can’t control.
You simply can not control the amount of melanin you produce. You are born the tone you are born and that’s that.
Societies need to place light skin on a pedal has had dangerous ramifications.
There’s women bleaching their skin in India, Africa and Asia.
All over the world women are trying to achieve and unachievable standard of beauty.
I hope to live to see the day to abandon this standard of beauty and realize that beauty isn’t a color.
I think forcing women to live up to one standard just breeds hate among women as well.
We see that society puts blonde hair, blue eyed women on a pedestal and intrinsically some form hate toward blonde haired, blue eyes women.
Beauty is not a shade or even an “aesthetic” really.
Beauty is something that’s indescribable.
Everyone person has splinters of beauty within in dying to shine out.
Beauty is all encompassing and all around us.
We have to evaluate ourselves to the point that we are beyond “Light is pretty and Dark is ugly” that’s outdated, unimaginative and frankly just low level thinking.
There’s beauty beyond light and dark.
There is freedom beyond mental slavery.
We have to free ourselves from the bonds placed on us through slavery.
As a society we have to rise about old world thinking they women have to be one shade to be beautiful. Every shade is beautiful.
Every skin tone, light skin or dark skin deserves to be raised with love.
It’s the hardest day for a music fan when they truly have to stop supporting and artist because of their beliefs but I can’t support anyone who would never support anyone who looked like me.. and looked like them.
Smh YG had all the bops.. oh well 🤷🏾♀️ I’d love to hear your thoughts below.
Thank you for reading