The wedding diaries: Learning his love language

I don’t even know how to start this blog post I’m so excited!

We’ve been planning and saving for this wedding a little over a year and the big day is almost here!

I had my bridal shower (The wedding diaries: My bridal shower)

We’ve been shopping, praying, going to premarital counseling, packing, planning.. we’ve been busy! We’re overjoyed and just happy to be married to one another.

We both realize the wedding ceremony is only a few beautiful moments in our lives. It’s the most important moment in our relationship but it’s only a few moments… 30 minutes to be exact and 45 minutes of photos.. that’s really not much time at all.

We plan to cherish every moment but beyond that we’re mentally preparing to love each other forever.

I’ve been really thinking about the gravity of all that. The human psyche changes every 10 years.

Basically every 10 years your mind is a new person. You can fall in love with someone and they can be completely different 10 years later and you have to learn to love them in their love language… every time.

I’m ready for it! I’m here for it and I want to learn how to love for the long run.

My best friend Ashley gave me “The 5 love languages” by Gary Chapman at my bridal shower.

She told me she gives it to her friends that are getting married and instructs them to read it, find their love language put a book mark there and give it to their spouse and the spouse does the same.

I was super honored to receive “The 5 love languages” from Ashley. She’s the friend who’s relationship I looked up to. I watched them grow from college sweethearts, to engaged, to husband and wife.

I knew love was real because Ashley and Anthony had it!

They’re like Barrack and Michelle to me sooo of course I’m going to listen to to Ashley’s marriage Advice!

She’s got time in and besides just LOOK AT THAT!

Their love has always been soo beautiful to me.

I STILL remember wedding and that moment.. not a dry eye in the place. That moment is cemented in my mind.

I read “The 5 Love languages” years ago but I really didn’t understand the book or need to understand the book at the time.

The information was of no use to me at the time so I didn’t really retain it.

I used it to just know my own love language basically,

Now.. I’m days away from our wedding and I want to have a love that last beyond the ceremony, the honeymoon, the first year.

I want that forever type of love.

I’m willing to put that work in… I’m willing to crack open a book and take my friends advice.

I’m happy to friends that want to see my marriage succeed and LAST!

I’ve been really focusing on ways to better love Chris. Not just while we’re in our wedding planning, lovey dovey happiness high but for life.

I was happy I was given the book because a few months ago Chris and I had taken quizzes online and began to briefly discuss “The 5 love languages” but now we have the book and exercises! I’m thrilled!

We revisited the quiz to see what our love languages were.

“The 5 love languages” quiz revealed Chris’s love language is Acts of Service:

I turned to the chapter for “Acts of Service” in the book and did some reading to get ideas of how to love Chris according to his love language and to really get an in-depth explanation of what “Acts of service” means.

I think my idea was a bit extreme:

Once I read the chapter I learned “Acts of service” don’t have to be chore based! I learned a lot from the chapter and I was so excited to try what I had read in my relationship!

I already knew my language and the way I express love but I’m excited to learn what Chris fills up Chris’s love tank and makes him happy.

“Happy spouse, happy house” right🤷🏾‍♀️

In “The 5 love languages” book once you complete a chapter there’s suggestions on ways to love your spouse according to their language:

I sent Chris a screenshot of one of the suggestions. I figured why not focus on how to love my groom the entire month leading up to our wedding!

Chris made me a list of 10 things for me to do and I’m actually really eager to get on them!

I’ve been excited about my husband.. I’m excited to learn new ways to love Chris and keep each other interested and in love with one another.

The things Chris has listed aren’t very hard at all.

(I think our celibacy challenge maybe making some decisions on the list 🤣👉🏾The wedding diaries: Our celibacy challenge)

Many of the things on this list are things I can do over the weekend 🙌🏾

They may seem like small things but I know those things would mean a lot to him and make him happy and that makes me soo happy.

We only have a few days left before we began our journey as husband and wife and I’ve been really savoring the last moments of this phase of our relationship.

Our conversations have changed from wedding excitement to talks of our first Christmas, first house, first family vacation.. we’re planning a lot of first and we happy to have this new beginning together.

Our wedding will be the first day of our journey as The Parker’s and I want to do what I can to ensure we are building a lasting love.

I’ve been asking Chris “what do you like to fashion wise? Like what makes you say “that’s sexy” what moves you? When you see a woman wearing it”

He told me he liked skirts, tight sundresses and he told me few things and I smiled because I never thought I’d be the type to want to dress to make a man smile.. typically I dress for me.. how I feel… I dress for my mood but I want to dress for my husband throw on a cute sundress and watch and football game with him. I know those things make him happy… and it’s free!

Putting time, energy and effort into your relationship cost nothing at all and feels like a million bucks!

We have about 6 days left before we walk down the isle and I’m excited, happy, joyful.. I’m not nervous, I’m not anxious… I’m marrying my best friend. There’s no fear only love and I’m just over joyed.

I want to love this man in every love language but right now I’ll work on the 10 acts of service I have to perform this month for my HUSBAND 😍

Have you read “The 5 love languages” what’s your love language?

2 comments

  1. Oh my gosh this made me smile so much! You can tell just from reading this how in love yall are. Just putting effort into your relationship speaks volumes. Communication is key for sure! My fiance and I took the quizzes but I feel like the book would be more in depth. And I’ll ask him what it is I can do to make him smile. This was an awesome post and I’m so excited for you and your wedding!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! I am beyond excited and happy and thank you so much for taking the time to read this I really appreciate it ❤️❤️ yes the book also gives you examples of things to do for your partner. It’s really great

      Like

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