Crazy little thing called confidence

I know it maybe hard to believe but I’m not a very confident person in fact I JUST started feeling confident enough to wear Black lipstick so I picked some up and decided to rock it and review it.

I used to be so afraid of others opinions and so self conscious.

I was bullied for the fullness of my lips being a black woman I was never really the “standard” of beauty so I felt ugly most of my life.

I’ve just never really been confident in my appearance but I was always very confident in my humor and personality so I lead with that developed a bit of a false confidence if that makes sense…

Kinda fake till you make it..

I don’t recommend that though because you’ll attract people doing the same thing.

Confidence is literally the belief in yourself and if you don’t believe in yourself you can’t accomplish ANYTHING…

I realized earlier this month after speaking to my therapist I suffered from a lack of confidence and low self esteem and I really wanted to work on those things because I realized I was in my own way.. I was self sabotaging myself because of past experiences. I had to realize I wasn’t those experiences.

I didn’t deserve to be cheated on that wasn’t reflection of my appearance or anything.. it was those men and their issues and I needed to heal and rebuild my confidence. I’ve been reading books on confidence by women I admire Liris Crosse and Stephanie Yeboah both have amazing books that I read last year but since I’m restarting my life and realizing that I’m my own problem I’m reading with new eyes and journaling.

Liris’ Book “Make the world your runway” is a guide to everyday confidence and success and will have you pumped and fired up in your bed with quotes from Helen Keller, Tyra Banks, Oprah it’s power packed and beyond motivating it makes you proud to be walking in your purpose, it’s a read that makes your soul tingle.

“Fattily ever after” by Stephanie Yeboah was a book that I made sure to grab while moving because it’s a guide to living life unapologetically… that’s EXACTLY what I’m trying to do!

I’ve been following Stephanie online for years and she’s a body positivity blogger, her attitude motivated me to get in front of the camera so I KNOW her guide to life is fire 🔥

I’m turning 36 in a few days… well 13 something like that and I’m tired of making the same mistakes.

You just get sick of tasting the salt of the same of old tears.

I wanted true love so I became that.

I went on an intense self love journey and healed my wounds and now I’ve realized I’ve been so insecure I haven’t allowed love to flourish because I’ve killed it overthinking.

I’ve also dated pure trash.. but that’s for another time

I’ve made my decision this year to make 2021 my year to be more confident and secure in myself as woman and share my journey.

When you have such an epiphany, like “I’ve been in my own way the entire time” you can’t wait to move.

I’ve emitted unnecessary negative insecure energy into relationships because of my past and this time I don’t want to do that.

I want to grow something pure and true and intentional but most importantly I want real.

When you know better you do better.

And I just want to be better don’t you?

Part of me is actually looking forward to 2021…scary isn’t it.

Are you looking forward to 2021?? Do you have and challenges for yourself and how is your confidence level let’s chat 😌

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