Malcolm Gladwell several other experts say it takes 10 years of doing something professionally to consider yourself an expert…when prior to manifesting the man of my dreams I had dated, been married and failed at love since I was sheesh middle school🤷🏾♀️ what can say I grew up in front to the television dreaming of relationships like Dwayne and Whitley
And in my teens I idolized Carrie and Big
Which in hindsight probably wasn’t such a good idea 🤔
My last big relationship ( over a year) was my marriage. When my marriage ended and I looked it honestly I could see something needed to change. I prayed that I wouldn’t become bitter because I had given my 20’s to relationship and no longer really knew myself. I often molded myself to the men I was dating so I had I no clue who I was. My nana had always told me to specific when I pray.. “Don’t just ask for a man..God will give you a man..be specific ask for what you want and have faith”Easier said than done! I was a lonely 21 year old single mom…I made the mistake at first of just asking for “a handsome man with money”…that’s what the universe sent me in my last husband he was handsome and rich and lord I was miserable. I learned from that to be specific.
Verbally ask the universe:
I prayed (put it VERBALLY INTO THE UNIVERSE) for him to be:- a patient man.- Doesn’t hit or yell- Loves me for me GENUINELY-Loves my daughter as his own- treats us like royalty-understands I wants some to enjoy my life with with.-understand that I have anxiety and depression and that’s not always a picnic but I need a man that’s understanding and SUPPORTIVE. -understands that I want to be loved and have a real family.
Write it out:
I was watching some show where this woman said she heard from Oprah (so that makes it RELIABLE!😂😂) to write down what you want the universe to give you. If you want something write it. So that’s what I did . I wrote in my little journal exactly what I wanted. I was more specific than I had every been after years and years of pain and longing to be loved I was very specific what I wanted and how I needed to be loved. After I writes out the list..I went out and dated 😅 I had to stick to the standards that I set for myself and honestly I would verbally say them to men I was dating. I was upfront:
“I’m not dating to just date I want to be in an exclusive, serious relationship”
This either ran men away or intrigued them. I was a single mom so I had to be upfront 🤷🏾♀️ I had a life to think about other than my own so I had to be sure that was known. I also kept my list in mind those things were things I wasn’t willing to overlook. To be treated kindly, loved genuinely and have my child treated well were things I was unable to waiver on so the list helped me physically see what I needed and what I was looking for. I didn’t wait to see if someone could by molded to fit my list I was fair and looked actions and weighed the action against my list..the list was non negotiable.
“You should go and love yourself.”
I had A LOT of relationships fail…some of them the men were at fault but in order for me to get the relationship I desired I needed to fix myself. I went to therapy to learn to handle my emotions and my mental health diagnosis. I also had to love myself. How could demand love when I truly didn’t love myself nor did I know how. I was on a self discovery path when I turned 30. I began to journal and just started living life. I joined a Facebook group for dirty meme jokes 😅 in that group was very handsome man Chris Parker
He was “slide in me DM’s” and call tell me jokes. Always respectful but I did have a guard up, and I was upfront with my fears that for lack of a better phrase he presented himself like a man-whore. I judged him based solely off his social media post. He asked me for a date in order to prove that he wasn’t who he post to be. We met up and he had on light up shoes and I always tell people I said to myself ” I can’t date him he has on light up shoes like a toddler.” I teased him about the shoes and we just clicked.
The universe knew Chris and I both wanted to be loved and have our own families.
Chris and I dated and learned so much one thing we learned was about blending our family together. Together we have 5 children. He had 3 from previous relationships and I had my daughter. Then Chris and I got pregnant soon after dating.
In the relationships Chris had prior to me he isn’t have the chance to be a father, he wasn’t given the chance to wake up every day and be involved with his children. Watching the relationship grow between Christy and her dad has been on of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever witnessed. Chris is such a hands on dad not only with our child but with my oldest daughter Brooklyn.
He’s such an amazing dad. Not in a forced way. He took the time form genuine bond and love Brooke as his own.
I got what I wanted!
The universe delivered the man of my dreams to my inbox 🤣🤣 this man treats me like royalty (I do the same with him, he’s my gift from the universe so I treat him well and thank the universe for this man) we both realize what we have is nothing but God. We have both been through so much relationship wise. We’ve been through so much together. We pray everyday and have date night once a week to keep our love alive and to just thank God we finally found one another. I thank God he didn’t listen when I asked for my heart to be removed so I couldn’t feel. I’m glad I can feel. Sometimes I cry from just happiness. Everything I asked for the universe gave me. I asked. I believed (I wrote it down, prayed, dated..stuck to my plan “list” fixed and loved myself) I received.. I will be marrying ChrisAnthony Parker 10/13/19 in Las Vegas at the circus circus hotel and casino! Our theme is “The Greatest Showman: run away and join our circus”
The way P.T Barnum loves his wife and daughters is the way Chris loves me and ALL his kids. He would do anything to make our worlds magical. No matter what we have or don’t have we have each other and that’s a blessing. That man is my gift. I can’t wait to walk down that isle. I prayed for this, I’ve dreamed of this..this feeling. True love. It’s worth all the crap! It’s worth all the pain. I’d do it all again with a smile if I end up with ChrisAnthony Parker as the one I spend the rest of my life with.